I have no PhD in Child Psychology, but I think I'll pass along a little observation I made. It seems to me, that barring emotional disorders, children seem to misbehave because they have a need that is not being filled--most often positive attention. Without being too simplistic, find the need, solve the problem. Sometimes I can identify the need, but have no idea what to do to fulfill it. Thoughts? Wisdom from other parents?
Blog response to comments:
Christine--
I ask my son (this is rarely a problem with my daughter) if he needs attention, saying that this (insert negative behavior) is not the way to get attention then I have him say, "I need attention." Helping kids have an emotional vocabulary for what they are really feeling helps they realize what they really need.
Your m-i-l is a wise woman indeed. Sorry I just saw your comment, we had the flu.....very busy end of September and then my parents were in town.
1 comment:
I think you're right. My mother-in-law said somebody counseled her once about that very thing. She was told that if her children are acting up you should hold them for 10 minutes. And if they're still acting up you hold them for another 10. My hard thing is that I want to fill the need without rewarding bad behavior. I'm not sure what to do about that, but I think this is a good solution.
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